My name, Hannah, is starting to lose its meaning, it used to mean so much to me. It was my name. Even though others share my name it was mine, absolutely no one else's. Earlier I realised that me and 'Hannah' are drifting apart, as the teacher reads down the register, saying each name the same way they did the day before, expecting 'ready' or 'kit' as a response, when I hear Hannah I answer but it feels as though I'm answering for someone who no longer exists.
Also, Hannah being a strictly female name drives me crazy. It's not my name anymore, it doesn't feel right. It contradicts what I pray for each moment I'm conscious, to be male. I don't feel comfortable anymore, a body I was proud of is now a body I'd trade for one of the opposite sex if I were given the chance. Some of my friends can understand this and except it, when writing or talking about me using male pronouns, whilst others make it their goal to remind me that I'm forever bound to a body having two X chromosomes.
To conclude, my name has lost meaning. I feel detached to my past self, as well as the fact that it contradicts what I believe. To make up for this, I go by Leo on the internet as it is a name I personally like, it's male and it's my astrological sign, which is something I'm quite proud of.